I decided to start a blog hardly for the satisfaction of other people keeping up with me but more so that I would make a deal with myself. I plan on making a date with myself...a naked date. Where I will find myself having arrived at a place where living in my own skin is as comfortable as snuggling with bed sheets on a Sunday morning. I want to know what its like to walk in front of people and not wonder what I look like from behind or ever saying no to floating the river simply because I don't anyone to see me in a bathing suit. I am 27 years old and this day is the first day of the rest of my life.
I few things I became aware of over the past month if not looking back on the past 27 years is that I love food and I can eat any man under the table. But I don't need that much food. I over feed myself because I am so concerned that if I don't fill my belly to the brink I will spend the rest of the day until the next time I eat fixated on eating again. Secondly, like many, I am a creature of habit. Everytime I have dieted I become ingulfed in the habit of that diet UNTIL one day or evening when I slip out of my normal routine. Then I get into the habit of excusing the behavior. "Oh, its just today" or "It was only that much". Suddenly I am in the spiral of a new, unhealthy habit. I gain 10 lbs and then am faced with the reality that nothing fits. Well, although it did happen that way this time, this is the last time the button of my jeans leaves an impression in my skin.
I decided, that because I do love to eat as much as I do, Im going to ease into this new way of eating with some grace. Ive looked into Vegetarian diets and what I appreciate is knowing that veggies are a life saver!! I can eat vegetables till Im blue in the face if I choose (well, respectfully anyway) and I can stay on track. This morning I had a string cheese while I rushed out the door for work and by the time 11:30 hit I was starving!! No more "rushing". Its all about giving yourself an extra 10 minutes. So I went to the grocery store and tomorrow I will have a whole grain Eggo Waffle with a tbspn of peanut butter and half a banana! That sounds so much more satisfying then some flimsy ol' piece of string cheese followed by stomach growling.
I was especially thrilled with dinner tonight. Grilled veggies (red and green peppers, onions, garlic, corn, and tomatoes) met with black beans and grilled pinapple with brown rice and Tapitio! It was fantastic and so filling!
My biggest struggle is exercise. Not even the movement or challenge of being in the moment of exercise, because frankly I love it, but its the "anticipation" of having to go. The irritability that follows me around all day while I dread having to begin any exercise at all. And sadly enough, I am a very athletic person but my anticipation is 100% mental and I want nothing more than to surpass the obstical I call ME. So off to Water Aerobics!
